Communicating with parents, teachers, and administrators
Many parents wait until there’s a problem or concern to touch base with teachers or learn about their child’s school. But if you are involved in your child’s schooling only when there is a problem, it sends the wrong message to your child: that doing well is boring and unimportant and that you only pay attention when there’s a problem. You can help your child do well in school by getting involved and staying involved year after year—through the good and the not-so-good times.
Whatever grade your child is in, the more you get to know the teachers, staff, and subjects your child is studying, the better your child’s educational experience will be. Attending parent-teacher conferences, parent meetings, and other school events will help you get to know how things work at your child’s school, what teachers expect, when exams take place, what courses, activities, and resources are available, and how grades are determined. Here are some ways to build positive connections with faculty and staff at your child’s school:
• Plan a visit. An easy time to visit is in the fall when most schools schedule a night for parents. The main office at the school can give you information about events for parents. If by October you have not received word from the school about upcoming parent conferences, contact the school to schedule one.
• Touch base with your child’s teachers at the beginning of the school year to introduce yourself. This is especially important if your child
is in elementary school or middle school.
• Go to the teacher when you have a question, problem, or concern. Most teachers want to help. Teachers can also be a good source of study tips. If you have a question or concern about your child, schedule a time to talk with the teacher or guidance counselor. Teachers and guidance counselors like to meet parents and want to hear from you.
• Always find a way to attend parent-teacher conferences. Almost every school holds parent-teacher conferences. These aren’t really formal “conferences” so much as they are conversations that you have with a teacher about your child’s schoolwork. They may involve just one teacher or several teachers if your child is older. Parent-teacher conferences provide a wonderful opportunity to let teachers know that you want to work with them to help your child succeed in school. They also give you a way to find out more about how your child is doing than you can learn from a report card. The school office can give you information about conferences and when they take place.
• Stay in touch with the teacher by sending a note. You might write a note to let the teacher know if there is a new baby in the family, if a
relative is sick, or if some other change is affecting your child. You can write a note to ask the teacher to call you to discuss an issue.
(Be sure to give your phone number and a time when the teacher can reach you.) Do not use notes to raise objections, complain about problems, or to discuss confidential information. Instead, use the note to request a meeting and then discuss the issue in person or on the phone.
• If you have e-mail, that’s a good way to stay in touch. Many schools now have e-mail and you may have access to e-mail as well. Find out if your child’s teachers like to use e-mail to communicate about homework or other academic issues. Never use e-mail to address sensitive concerns or share confidential information. It is best to do this in person or on the phone.
• Meet with the guidance counselor if you have questions or concerns. When you have concerns about your child, or when your child is is about to make an important transition, like going from elementary school to middle school, or starting to think about college or university, make sure to meet with your child’s guidance counselor. You can talk with the guidance counselor about
- how often standardized tests are given, what they measure, and what the results mean
- how decisions are made about placing children in class levels and matching students with particular teachers
- what the counselor/student ratio is
- how to select and plan appropriate courses for your child
- how to help your child apply to college or university, to a training program, or for a job after high school
• Meet with the school psychologist or school social worker if you have questions or concerns or wish to talk about your child. Many schools have a school psychologist or social worker on staff or on call to meet with parents and with students. You can talk with the school psychologist or social worker about
- what programs and assistance the school provides for children with learning difficulties
- family concerns
- behavioral or academic concerns you may have about your child
If you feel your family would benefit from seeing the guidance counselor or school psychologist, contact the school and ask to schedule a meeting.
• Talk with other parents about your school. The parents of your child’s friends and other parents in the community will have valuable information about teachers, administrators, homework, curriculum, and social issues. The more you share about school with other parents, the better you will understand your child’s experience. And feeling that you are part of a community can help everyone in your family feel positive about school.
Read next: Parent-teacher conferences |
