Childrens problem-solving - Advices
Respond quickly to problems. It’s always best to address a problem right away, as soon as you are aware of it. Send a note to the teacher. You might say, “I’m concerned over Tammy’s score on the recent math test. Could you give me some ideas about what I can do to help her understand the material better?”
Reassure your child that you are going to work on the problem together. You might say, “We’re going to get help. We’ll figure this out—together.”
Try to get as much information as you can about the problem. The more you understand about the problem, the more you can help. If your daughter who likes science suddenly gets a poor grade in the class, talk with her about what she thinks might be the problem. Then talk with the teacher.
Share information about what is happening at home. If your family is going through a difficult period or time of change, it’s helpful for
the teacher to know that.
When there is a problem or difficulty, the first person you should talk to is the teacher. It’s not a good idea to “go over the teacher’s
head” by contacting the principal or another administrator. Start with the person who knows your child best—the teacher. Call him or her or write a note to request a meeting. If you work during school hours and it’s hard to find a time to meet with the teacher, ask if you can talk over the phone in the evening or early morning.
Let the teacher know that your goal is to solve the problem together. Teachers want to help children succeed and they are pleased when parents work cooperatively to help a child get past a difficulty and solve a problem at school.
Try not to blame or accuse. Instead of saying, “You never call on my child,” you might say, “I’m concerned that my child may not have enough chance to speak in class.” If you are open and friendly, if you show that you want to work together, the teacher will usually be helpful. Problem-solving feels a lot better than blaming and accusing, and will usually bring results.
Stay calm. It does not help to raise your voice or lose your temper with your child’s teacher. Always speak in a calm tone. Make it clear
that your family wants to work cooperatively with the school to solve problems.
Remember that problem-solving takes time. You may need to be in touch with the teacher several times. If your child is disruptive in class or not completing assignments, you and the teacher may decide to use a daily report card, where the teacher can check off good behavior or completed assignments on a list to keep track of your child’s behavior and reward improvement. This can help you follow up at home.
You may want to take notes when you talk with the teacher or other members of the staff. Your child’s teacher and others will probably have suggestions for dealing with the problem you are concerned about. Taking notes will help you remember the key points.
Meet with the guidance counselor if necessary.
Teach your child to ask for help. Repeat this message often to your child: “If you’re stuck, it’s your job to ask for help. Asking for help is a good thing. It shows the teacher that you want to do well.”
Stay involved once the problem is worked out. Remember that it’s important to be involved with your child’s schooling in good times and in difficult times. Schools, like other institutions, sometimes make mistakes. Most teachers are interested in communicating and working with parents, but sometimes a teacher may not be as helpful as you’d like. If you have talked with the teacher and are not satisfied that the problem is resolved, you may want to consider taking the following steps:
Schedule a team meeting with all your child’s teachers. A team meeting is a meeting of all of your child’s teachers, the guidance counselor, and you. Together, you can come up with a plan to solve the problem at hand. Sometimes a team meeting can help clarify the problem and identify solutions. The result of a team meeting is that everyone takes some measure of responsibility for helping your child. It may also reassure your child that you and her teachers are working together for her benefit.
Meet with the department head, other administrator, or the principal. If you aren’t pleased with a particular teacher’s actions or a school policy, find out what your options are. At a meeting with an administrator, be sure to give clear reasons for your concerns, and specific examples.
Read next: Getting help if your child is struggling |
